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This is an experiment to see how honest people can be if they don't have to identify themselves. Some silly, some deep, but all require honesty.
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25 comments:
I'd suggest getting some first-hand info before any kind of action is take. If the facts were indeed facts, I suggest a candid converstion with the teenager giving them an opportunity to question their own behavior.
I would talk to my teen about it. But I wouldn't be stupid, I quietly monitor things more closely and probably search through their room and computer, without their knowledge.
Maybe I'm just being stupid, but I trust my kids. I am very close with them and we have very candid conversations about their friends and what they are all doing/think is cool. We are very close. I'm one of those that is anti alcohol so my kids know where our family stands and we also stay very busy in the church and most of their friends are in their youth groups. I just feel like they are good kids and are doing really well for being just kids! And the question asks about their friends, not them, so I'd have to trust that my child has been taught the tools to handle this. My daughter is very loving and would probably want to help them get help! So, I'd do nothing until they asked for my help!
I would say DUH, everyone does it, they just need to be responsible about it.
I mean about the drinking - not the DRUGS! If it were drugs then that is something to REALLY worry about, but not so much about the drinking.
8:55- 8:24 here and NO everyone doesn't do it! Not to get into this argument AGAIN, but... My entire family does not do it! I'm glad my kids have a GOOD example of a wonderful family that doesn't use alcohol!
Just curious, if you heard secondhand that the child's food/drink was being laced with drugs would you do the same thing?
I would talk with the child's parents. Am I the only one that feels this way?
This is 9:09 - I mean if the other children not yours, drink/food was being laced with drugs what would you do?
Nobody likes a nosy 'friends mom'. I'd stay out of it unless you are asked to step in the doggy doo!! Focus all that attention on your own kid! Double check and make sure your kid is on the straight and narrow path before going and pointing fingers at other peoples kids, esp with 2nd hand info!?!
That goes for ANYTHING you 'hear' secondhand!!!
Considering this could affect my own child's safety and well being I'd find out if it was true or not.
I would be the nosy mom and tell the other child's parent. I'd let them know it was second hand info and leave it at that.
And I'd probably enforce strict rules or end allowing my child to hang out with those friends.
I have a family member with a drug addiction. I see first hand what happens and I would stop at nothing to try to protect my child.
I am with 9:09 on the telling the other parents. If it were my kid who were the bad friend and you guys knew about it, but didn't tell me, I would be really upset that no one cared enough to approach me in a loving manner to bring it to my attention.
And 8:24, wow, no offense, but your job as a parent isn't to wait until they come to you. I would rather prevent a whole lot of hurt instead of them being in too deep and finally come to me.
I am 6:30, and I would have zero trouble searching there things-without their knowledge, so they don't feel like I am "breaking their trust"-if I suspected them or even their close friends using drugs or drinking. Part of my job is protect their hearts, I would want to know if there was any beginnings of trouble going on in their lives.
You're going to jump to conclussions with only second hand info? Second hand info is almost always 3rd and 4th hand, or more! I'm sticking by my post at 9:18! Worry about your own kids.
9:18, there is a loving way to approach someone on it. You don't just say "Hey Lady, your kid is a druggie whore and I don't want my kid around yours." You can approach them in love and say something like "I heard something about Johnny and just wanted to bring it your attention whether it is true or not, but someone told me they saw Johnny selling dope, and I know if the rolls were reverseved I would want someone to bring it to my attention and that is why I am telling you."
To those of you who would not tell the kid's parents, would you feel guilty if a week or so later he/she died by drug overdose, or has some type of tragedy affected by the drug abuse??? And the mom was saying, "I had no idea, I wish someone would have told me."
Would you feel guilty?
To those of you who don't believe in telling parents.....
If you heard second hand that a child was feeling suicidal / told someone they were going to commit suicide would you tell the parents>????
8:55, I hope your kids are not friends with my kids.
How is a teenager supposed to drink responsibly and how, as a parent, can you possible accept the argument of everyone is doing it??
Your comment scares me more than the original question.
I think it would really depend on how close my child was to this friend, and how close I was to that parent. If it were say my child's best friend, I would most likely discuss the situation with my child. And if I was friends or knew the parent fairly well, I would most likely tell them 'what I heard' and stress that it was not first hand information.
However, if I did not know the parent, most likely I wouldn't say anything. And if my child wasn't that close of friends with them, I may just make it a good opportunity to talk about drugs/alcohol but not bring up what I heard.
Wow, very interesting. I hope you haven't heard anything about my child, because I would be in the dark since you wouldn't say anything. I would also feel very sad that you didn't come to me.
I would approach that child's parents and tell them what I had heard. That way, they can check up on the situation. It is sad to think that any child can get in a terrible situation. I would want others looking out for my child too.
I am giving everyone on here full permission to tell me if my child does anything remotely bad or hears of my child drinking, smoking, drugs or being a slut. PLEASE tell me.
I had a friend who told their mom I took pills from kids at school. His mom was friends with my mom so told my mom. It was no biggie. I'm sure my parents appreciated it.
I will say there is a difference between hearing someone tried alcohol once and it being a continual thing.
I think we as parents are supposed to help each other out. Be each other's eyes and ears and together pray our kids make it through adulthood. Even second hand 4th or 5th hand. If it's people who are loved and concerned about this person, I would trust it enough to say something and at the same time ask that mom to let me know if she heard anything about my child.
I think most of us, regardless, would discuss these things whether 2nd,3rd or 100th hand with the friends parents, IF we were friends with them! How many of you are actually friendly to your kids' friends parents?!?
Don't approach me with GOSSIP about my child unless you have some proof or first hand info!?!
*ring*
Hello, Mr./Mrs. ____. I want to let you know about something that I have heard about our kids. I have heard that there is some drinking and drug use going on in our kids' circle of friends. I don't know enough to accuse anyone or even know if it's true. But if you had heard this, I would want you to tell me about it, so I could take care of it on my end. Let's help each other stay on top of this so we can help our kids stay safe. Okay? Okay. Thanks.
*click*
Perfectly said 5:37.
If you aren't at least aquaintances with your friend's parents, then you aren't doing your job. If they have sleepovers, if their parent's pick your child up to take them to the mall, you should take that opportunity to talk to their parents. Even when they are driving. We'd usually meet at someones house for pictures before dances or other school functions. I'm sure if they are "good friends" (enough for your child to be concerned they are drinking) then you will know their parents. Either way, I'll take gossip anyday. My pride can handle it. Afterall, it may be true!
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