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This is an experiment to see how honest people can be if they don't have to identify themselves. Some silly, some deep, but all require honesty.
Read this first.
Have a burning question?
Most of these questions are now submitted. Please feel free to submit your question and see how others feel. Email me here with a subject line of "Anonymous Truth"
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What would do if the doctor told you your 1 year old has a rare disease and only has about 1-2 months to live. Or she could have a number of surgeries, but that would only extend her life by 1 maybe 2 years, but cause a lot of pain for her in the process. What would you do?
Well, I am assuming my answer isn't going to be very popular, but I would take my baby home and make it as happy and comfortable as I can for her. I would not choose the surgeries, I would not want to put her through a bunch of surgeries and make her spend a lot of time in the hopsital, that would not to be fair to her and not to metion the emotional and financial toll it would take. I would call all my family and tell them to come as soon as they can to say their good-byes and just make her last one or two on earth a happy time.
I would do the surgeries. For one thing, there is lots of pain medication. For another, I've known lots of people who only had a few years to live and lived much longer or are still alive.
I would do the surgeries. Because who knows, maybe in that extra years time they develop a cure. But it's hard to say. If the pain can not be managed at all, and they are suffering then maybe not. It's hard to say what you would do in this scenario without living it.
Wow! That question sucks to think about. I can't imagine the agony that some have endured through situations like these. Thanks for reminding me of the blessing of healthy children. I need little reminders like that often.
I think I would have to rely on the awesome, miraculous, life altering power of the providence of God. Much like David did when his son was ill, I would pray with thousands of other Christians that God intervene in my child's life. I wouldn't stop until I got an answer from God and then hope my faith was strong enough to accept the answer.
THAT IS MY THOUGHT FROM HERE, MIGHT CHANGE IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE.
I am 5:59, and I would definately pray for wisdom in the decision, but when I answered the question this morning, I tried to put myself in my baby's position and the choice to be at home instead of a scary hospital constantly poked and proded sounded like a much better decision. It wouldn't be an easy one by any means, but I think right now, I would feel it would be better for her to let her just enjoy her last couple of months of life. Plus she wouldn't really understand anything, but if you prolonged her life until 3 or 4 she would understand and that would have to be really scary for a young child. I would rejoice that she gets to go to heaven soon and focus on the time that I did have with her.
I think I would have to rely on the awesome, miraculous, life altering power of the providence of God. Much like David did when his son was ill, I would pray with thousands of other Christians that God intervene in my child's life. I wouldn't stop until I got an answer from God and then hope my faith was strong enough to accept the answer.
How do you know that the surgeries are not God's answer?
There are other parents who feel the same ways as you.
Their kids end up in the custody of CPS. Like this one:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30763438/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/
Actually not sure if that child was removed but I know there are several cases where the parents lose custody.
5:59 you wrote:
and not to metion the emotional and financial toll it would take.
I'm assuming you mean the emotion and financial toll on you and your family? That is so sad. I don't think money or your emotions should ever be an issue when getting medicial treatment for you child, ever.
If my child was sick I would get him/her help no matter how much $$$$$$$$ it cost and the "financial toll" on the family.
Do you ever listen to Dr. Laura?
There was a mom on there once like you.
Her son had cancer and she told him that they couldn't go on vacation b/c of the $ of his medical bills.
Her son felt guilty b/c of his cancer.
Dr. Laura told her to get her son off the phone.
She then CHEWED THE MOM OUT BIG TIME.
The kid should never, ever have known anything about the $$ of his cancer treatment.
I'm not trying to be mean, but It just makes me since that you even mentioned the phrase "financial toll"
The kid should have never, ever known the
I have posted a few times and everyone knows: I lost my son to cancer just months ago. He was almost 7, too old for the cancer he got! Statistically, this was rare. Drs were very hopeful and optimistic but cancer/rare diseases are tricky! They can actually feed off the drugs and surgeries you are doing to try to kill it. We knew he would have to have a lot of surgeries and tests, but we pressed forward to win the battle. We stayed positive until the end.
I'm not sure how to answer this question bc the chemo he took was horrific to his little body, but it gained us 5 months of one on one time with him, something I wouldn't take back!! We have 3 other kids and their lives were put on hold, I hated that at the time, but you'd never know that now. They are great kids!
My advice to anyone going through this is fight every day like it's their last, it might be or you might get 100 more! We don't know.
A friends brother had cancer when he was 17, he beat that and was doing so good. Celebrated 6 months of good scans and died in a car accident on his way to work!
The financial question: Yes, it will wipe you out! There are places like St Jude, where we went, that don't make you pay what your insurance doesn't pick up. There are grants and tons of aid to help ease that!
Anyone wants to read our story just email me lashley00@centurytel.net and I'll send you our webpage link. If it can be helpful to anyone going through this, I'd love to help!
Oh brother, I am 5:59, I never once said I wouldn't do it because of money, I just metioned that it would be a huge emotional and financial toll, which I don't think is untrue, is it?????
Yes, I listen to Dr. Laura frequently and I would have to say she would no chew me out for simply making a statment, infact she would probably agree with in the statment that I would take her home and make her happy and comfortable rather than putting her through painful procedures for a small chance she would live for a few months longer.
9:20, I am so sorry for your loss and can't even begin to imagine what you have been through.
-5:59
This is a hard question, with no good answer. After knowing of many situations, I would have to agree with 5:59. I have seen so much pain from treatment - and the end result in every case in my experience has been the same - physical death. I would love, love, love the baby and give her the best for what time was left. This is what I would want done for myself. Remember there is no right or wrong answer here - let's not judge.
"Remember there is no right or wrong answer here - let's not judge."
According to CPS there is. I would choose the surgeries because I would rather my child spend his time with me and his family, rather than a foster home.
5:59 - the way you wrote the post sounds like one of the reasons why you would not seek treatment is because of the financial toll. Why would you even mention it if its not an issue?
to 9:20...
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the road you have traveled. I pray that God will bless you and your family.
9:20 here. I just wanted to also say that either way we felt like it was a win-win situation. I had my son with me for 7 incredible years! In those years, he did more things than most do by adulthood! He also touched so many lives and still today his nurses talk about how incredible he was. But, Yes! I would have loved 80 more years with him, but he is now with Jesus, how could I deny him that?!? How incredible is it to know without a doubt that your child is in Heaven!?! No pain, no sorrow, no drugs, no suffering!! We talk about physical death like it's a horrible thing. It's not. It's the next step in life. Either way this AT question ends good.
A child is a gift of God here on Earth and in Heaven!
5:59, the way you talk about the emotional and financial toll it would take. I agree 100%! We were inhospital for almost 5 months straight, that's were my 2 yr old was raised. I slept on a couch, I got up in the nt 100 times, I watched Spongebob nonstop for 5 months (now that is torture LOL)! It is a rollercoaster of emotions. Not to mention the 5 hr drive back and forth to the hospital, just to go home and see my other kids for a few hours! It can and will break up some marriages. I had a glimmer of hope though. I could see a dim lt at the end of the tunnel. If that lt isn't there, it's time to go home and enjoy your time together!!
The financial part: Yes, it is expensive!! Our bill for 3 days was over $42k (b4 StJude)! The last week my son was alive, he was on over $175k worth of meds a day!! A DAY!! Thank God for St Judes!! But, that's not to say you do not have expenditures. You have to live there, you have to eat there, you have to drive back and forth-miles, gas, oil, tires, it adds up VERY quickly. If you are a single parent, you can't work.
It's SO complicated and the answer to it ALL is not whether to fight or not,
It's Why do we still have Cancer!?!
I think WE ALL can agree on that!!
-9:20
AMEN 9:20!! AMEN =)
9:53, You are going overboard. It is highly unlikely that CPS would step in at all in a case like this. Why would they?? This isn't refusing an operation like taking an appedix out of a kid who is in danger of it bursting.
I agree with 9:20s statment at 10:22, it must be a great thing to know you will never ever have to worry about that child again. You KNOW they are in the best place possible, I imagine that is a big comfort.
I agree that is up to everyone, I still stand by my orginal statement at 5:59 and would be comforted knowing they will soon be in Heaven.
-5:59
8:38am said it best to me. Praying fervently and relying on God to give you the answer. All you can do is go with your gut. No one really knows what they would do until they are in the situation.
There are so many factors at play. CPS would only intervene if it was a surgery that would save the life. This question is not that it would save life but it may not even work at all and if it does only prolongs life for a little while. If you were faced with this DECISION then that means its YOUR DECISION! Dr's won't give decisions if there is only one right way. Some surgeries mean they can't even be held for a long time. I would rather them be in hospice care and at home if the only other option was at the hospital with tubes, unable to hold, pain, etc. Medicine can maybe help pain, but not discomfort.
If I feel God is leading me to let him take my child, it would be selfish of me to put them through hell for just a few more months. I would listen to my gut.
2:15 again- I forgot to mention my 6 month old cousin had three brain tumors and was not expected to live long at all. They tried several times doing chemo and harsh treatments but they were only to keep it from growing to prolong life as much as possible. She'd learn to walk and eat then harsh treatments put her back to being a baby unable to do anything.
They finally decided to stop going to the hospital and got on hospice care. They started all natural stuff. Mannatech products were one of the things. They just wanted the remainder of her life to be as comfortable and loving as possible. She ended up living 7 years which is about 6 more than doctors thought. God can do miracles even if you aren't at the hospital. They were able to get video of their daughter walking, talking, playing, smiling, living. Things they wouldn't have been able to get if they kept doing the treatments because each time it made her lose everything she had learned. She went from being potty trained to diapers and a feeding tube (which is when they decided no more).
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