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This is an experiment to see how honest people can be if they don't have to identify themselves. Some silly, some deep, but all require honesty.
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24 comments:
Does your husband look at porn? Do you use porn as a couple? Do you have a problem with your Husband looking at it? Do you think he looks at it behind your back? General Thoughts?
No, we do not use porn as a couple. That is a bad idea to even start that.
I have caught my husband more than once looking at women in sexy poses, swimsuits, lingerie on the internet, things that most of the world wouldn't consider a problem. However, I know what he is doing while he is looking at those pictures and it makes me feel pretty crappy, I know I will never look like those airbrushed women. Also, I know that is how men who are addicted to porn get started. I still check his computer history (although I know he knows how to clear it, so it really isn't a comfort) and will probably for a long time, he has blown the trust in that area. I still know he probably watches programs on TV he shouldn't, and I ask him every so often how he is doing in that area, but there is only so much policing I can do.
Yes he has.
No.
Yes.
Praying that he is not.
Porn can lead to more and different sinful sexual addictions. If this hasn't touched your life you wouldn't believe how devastating it is. The hurt and pain is much like finding out that your husband is having an affair. Using something else to get the pleasure that a wife is to give is adultery.
Praise God that their is help for this addiction.
Yes this does effect members of the church.
Enough on this subject. It makes me sick.
Question 2: He made a CD with Love songs for us.
No my husband doesn't look at porn. No we don't use it as a couple. Yes I would have a problem with it if he did and I trust that he doesn't do it behind my back.
I agree, it set very unrealistic expectations and is leads to trouble. I've even read some secular books on sex that agree with that view (porn not being healthy for relationships).
I do know too many people who this had affected and in each case its been pretty devastating.
He used to, actually he was quite addicted to it, and still fights it almost every day.
We used to, but stopped because we wanted our sex life to be about us and it didn't help him control his addiction.
I don't have a problem with his desire to look at it but I am bothered when he does look at it. But no more bothered than when he stumbles with any other sin. (It's taken years to get to that point.)
I don't think he looks at it behind my back because we've created an atmosphere where we talk about it and he lets me know when he's having a harder time than normal. That's not to say that I don't think he slips sometimes but for the most part, he tells me. (And I keep up with him, checking histories and caches, etc.)
You'd be surprised who looks at porn. Don't assume your husband doesn't. Asking him once "Do you look at porn?" means nothing. Talk about it openly and often. Sin thrives in the dark and hidden places in our lives. The only way to prevent it is to make everything light.
That's not really an issue for us. Neither one of us uses it.
Never been a issue for us. It has been a "deal breaker" in many marriages around me. Some have survived, but not most. My friend told me it gets worse - the sneaking around, then their expectations of you and your love making become different. She, in the end, felt like his "whore".
I'm so glad my hubby doesn't have a prob with porn.
We have talked about it and he said he doesn't doubt that many Christian men, men at our church, struggle with this.
He admitted when he was in 9th grade or so, someone brought a playboy to school and he saw it then. But other than that, he is able to control himself, thank goodness. I will be honest and say I have checked the history (ctrl-h) on the computer just to be sure in the past. but of course I do trust him!
This is kinda related: Just the other day, however, I asked him if he would've still married me if I had been flat chested. He paused, and then said, "No, probably not, but I did NOT marry you for your breasts."
I do worry about my little boy having a problem with it, and I am going to be very honest with him about the dangers of it, and am NEVER going to let him to go the home of another kid that I don't trust. THough they can come over to ours anytime.
And, no we dn't use it as a couple.
I think that pornography, even if used as a couple is wrong, and sinful.
No, I don't think he looks at it behind my back. I know my hubby inside and out.
He has before. It's been almost a year since he has probably. It is very occasionally. I have looked at it too and can't say I never will again. It didn't really bother me but I do ask everyonce in a while and if he starts saying yes a lot, I may worry. I don't think he is doing it if he says he isn't. We have never used it as a couple but I was actually thinking about it. Don't think i'll go down that route though.
He has before. It's been almost a year since he has probably. It is very occasionally. I have looked at it too and can't say I never will again. It didn't really bother me but I do ask everyonce in a while and if he starts saying yes a lot, I may worry. I don't think he is doing it if he says he isn't. We have never used it as a couple but I was actually thinking about it. Don't think i'll go down that route though.
It sseems there are alot of preacher's wives (or at least 2 that commented previously) on their blog.
Has your husband ever had, or currently has a prob with porn?
Hahaha I probably look at it more than my husband does.
Minister's wife here, Yes, my husband has had a problem with Porn before. He isn't immune to lust because he is a minister.
My husband doesn't look at it. We have had many hard conversations about lust. He stays away from porn and things approaching porn.
He doesn't look at it behind my back. He wouldn't be able to look me in the eye, and things would get all funky, and we would fight about a lot of other stuff before we got down to that.
7:15, I think your last paragraph is very well said.
This is no easy topic.
No, neither my husband nor I look at porn. We started dating very young and have always had A LOT of fun in the bedroom so we don't feel we need porn. We've always been very open about things like this and agree we could care less about seeing someone else in that light. I'm with the poster that said, if he did it behind my back, he wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes. We are that same way! He can't lie to me and I can't lie to him, we are horrible liars!
Why do people look at porn? I've never got it. I'd rather surprise my hubby in the shower any day than to sit with a magazine and look at naked models.
Ironically enough, I found out just yesterday that my husband looks at porn periodically. I asked him outright...not sure why, just wondering. I knew he wouldn't lie about it if he had, and he didn't.
What's odd is that we have a VERY healthy sex life. Sex a minimum of four times a week. So I just don't get it.
I'm not sure what I think about it. Not to sound arrogant, but I have a pretty decent figure (but not porn star quality by ANY stretch of the imagination), and I know without a doubt that he finds me very attractive. I just think that when I'm on my monthly cycle, he gets overly aroused and will "release" sexual tension, if you will.
So anyway, I am not extremely upset about it. But I'm not exactly happy, either. I guess that's weird, huh. But anyway, it's my answer.
Ladies, you have to ask your man about this. Don't assume he's immune. It's not prying, so don't accept a "mind-your-own-business" kind of answer. There's no other part of the marriage relationship that makes a couple ONE more than the physical relationship -- that's Bible, that is. So it IS your business.
Gents, if you're into porn, STOP. Don't accept the Satanic lie that you have to have SOME way of fulfilling your physical needs if you're not getting it from your wife. I'm not saying it's easy, but trust God that He won't let you struggle with this alone. You gotta honor your wife -- porn isn't it. Concentrate on making HER happy instead of gratifying yourself. Maybe things will get better. But porn isn't the answer.
10:42 made the comment about men lusting. As women, is anyone concerned if they are dressing appropriately not to cause men to lust. Is your blouse revealing to much or is your skirt to short? Even a little bit of cleavage showing could turn a man on!
Different things will turn different men on, you may be wearing something that may cause another man to lust even if your husband isn't.
I like the part of the movie "fireproof" where the husband throws the computer away and beats it up...........
Am I the only one that does not like that movie. I thought it was lame and very cheaply made. That part was funny though! :) The neighbor cracked me up.
Did I say I didn't like it?
I think the Fireproof movie was cheaply made, but I think it accurately portrayed how a husband and a wife start drifing apart and how other people showing interest in you when your vulnerable and the next thing you know your going through a divorce.
If you read the book and go follow through with the steps it will strenghten anyones marriage.
My husband has had a problem with porn and has gone through a recovery program for it. This has helped us tremendously. He has accountability partners for it, and they are Godly men who are honest with each other. I don't check with him about it; because I know they are all keeping each other accountable.
I looked at it as well when I was single. I also think many romance novels I used to read were porn-ish. (There's a new word for you!)
For us, porn was straight from Satan. It reduced sex to a selfish act.
3:35, I appreciate your post.
But sometimes sex is selfish. You want it because you want it. You want him to wait because you want him to help you get there first. That's how it is for me sometimes. So the problem, for me, with porn, is not necessarily the selfishness of it, as it is maybe the independence of it? Just thinking here.
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