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This is an experiment to see how honest people can be if they don't have to identify themselves. Some silly, some deep, but all require honesty.
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23 comments:
Yes, we spank. I am trying to be better to not spank when I am angry and explain to our kids why they are getting spanked and that we don't like doing it. There is a difference between beating and spanking, we don't beat our kids or abuse them.
My husband and I were both spanked as children and we both turned out fine and don't go around hitting people, so it is frustrating when anti-spanking people say that children who are spanked just learn to hit people and that is how they deal with their problems.
I completely agree with 6:23.
Yes! I'm not talking about beating the kids by any means, but spanking does happen in my house.
Poster 6:23, put it in better words than me. I agree with them.
Yes!
We spank for willful disobedience. We rarely spank--there are other punishments that tend to work better for our kids personalities.
My parents used a belt on us and I can say that I will never do that.
We do spank. I think Super Nanny is great, but I don't think a quick spank ruins children. I do make sure for every spank or timeout, they get hugs and told I love them. They MUST have a lot more positive affection than punishment or their spirit will be squashed.
I read this verse just yesterday and it kind of made me chuckle...
Proverbs 23:13 - Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
My siblings and I were spanked as children and it did not scar us or have any negative effects. I'll be the first to tell you most of the time we needed it. Proverbs speaks of it several times, and I'm sorry, but God is never wrong in his advice.
I don't believe spanking is wrong in and of itself, but I think the manner in which one is administered can be very wrong and inappropriate.
When I was child, I was spanked for everything. It was overly harsh and done in a completely cold-mannered way. So while I do spank my children at times, it is always done with careful thought and only for acts of outright disobedience.
Sometimes a smack on the leg and a very stern face from me is the only thing that gets through to Mr.I'm-2-and-I'm-Precious-and you think so too momma don't you i know you do!!
No spanking in this house! You should be smart enogh to come up with other ways to teach your children.
So, 2:34, you think God was wrong when he allowed, advised, and encouraged "discipline with the rod"?
Why do we think we know better than God?
Why do you think that is to be taken literally? The idea is about discipline.
Why should we NOT take it literally? Are you God? Do you know best? See...here we go again. I LOVE people having a different view point. Why don't you enlighten us with reasons you don't. Discipline that you use that works. Drawbacks you feel that come from spanking. Enlighten...don't say we aren't smart. We use several different techniques but find spanking to be one that is OK for certain things.
We spank. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and we come up with a different reaction for that behavior. Parenting is hard. Nothing is black and white. All kids are so different!
I spank.
However, I will never, ever spank in public or within hearing distance of someone (like at church).
There are some people that basically have CPS on their speed dial and will call CPS for that.
I know of a minister who went through a CPS investigation because they spanked their kids because they were misbehaving in church.
I don't think, when people call CPS, they realize the trauma a CPS investigation alone can have on a family and children. I mean if the child is truly being abused, by all means call, but not for spanking on the bottom!
I will say, that I think we should do everything possible to create an environment that encourages the children to behave, not set them up for failure.
I like the spanking for "willful disobience" comment earlier and agree with that.
I know someone who spanked their child, a toddler under age 2, when they went to try to touch/play with the Christmas tree! That makes me so livid! I mean think about it - the child sees a bright new object with pretty lights and ornaments, its only natural for them to explore. You should either put a gate up around it, decorate the tree where its safe to play with (thats what I did) or not have one at all!
I also had a friend who spanked her 3 year old because she got up from her nap and started getting into stuff in her room. Ugh, that just wrong period.
Lastly, I have an acquaintance that every time I talk to her I hear her saying "no maam" "no this" and "no that" to her child in the background. And she is at home! The home should be created as a place where the child can live and flourish without always having to be disciplined. If that means not having breakable decorations around, leaving medicine on the counter, and putting a lock on the toilet seat, then do it!!!!!!!
I also get irritated when the kids are spanked because they are very very tired, its like spanking someone because they have a disability. When they are that tired they will naturally become cranky!
hey, i made a comment on yesterdays post (I didn't visit the blog yesterday) and wanted to encourage you to read it = about in vitro, thanks.
9:55 - You sound very balanced! Everything you said sounded great! Shoot hearing no 100 times a day is actually worse than a random spank now and then.
I think it is perfectly fine to expect your children not to touch or get into certain things around your house. You train them what is allowable and what is not. I trained my 1 yr old child not to get into a drawer or touch pictures on a table by first telling her no, and she knew what NO meant, and then after the 2nd or 3rd no I popped her hand. It took a couple of pops but she learned to leave it alone. I also swatted my 1 yr old for throwing fits. I did not want to have a 2, 3, 4 yr old throwing screaming fits. I think she only threw 2 fits and I didn't have to deal with that issue with her again. She understood that throwing a fit to get her way was unacceptable. You cannot reason with a toddler.
Now with our children being older, we spank in our home for lying and deliberate disobedience. I believe it is all about teaching our children self control. I like the Prov. that someone else quoted, that surely they will not die from the use of the rod. So true. Prov. 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. and v. 17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. So many times in Prov. it speaks of the "rod of correction" regarding discipling your children. And yes I do believe it is literal.
Don't get me wrong I do not use spanking as my only form of discipline, and it is always a last resort. I don't enjoy spanking my children, and NEVER do it in anger! But I do believe it is an effectve form of disicipline and when used correctly is NOT abusive. I always explain before hand why they are getting a spanking and talk about it afterwards, and give hugs and kisses afterwards and then we move on.
I now have children that I can take into a restaurant or other public places and they sit, and play or talk quietly without disturbing others in the restaurant because I trained them from an early age that it was unacceptable to scream, throw fits, etc. We are able to enjoy spending time with our children at home and in public settings because they are enjoyable and pleasant to be around.
So how is it that I am "not smart" (2:34) when at times I use the rod of correction when the Bible says it "imparts wisdom"?
Prov. 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.
9:55, Maybe that 2 year old was already asked not to grab the hot Christmas lights or something else. I don't think that mom was out of line. I doubt she randomly started beating her kid for wanting to admire a Christmas tree. Give the mom a little credit, she is probably trying to teach her kid boundries. You can't make everything in your house100% childproof to give them complent reign over everthing. I don't think that is good idea. I only have very few childproof things, I am trainging my kids what they can get into and what they can't.
Also, I have spanked for not staying in bed for naptime. It is a rule for naptime to stay in bed and be quiet. I don't like doing it, but my child is old enough to understand and willfully disobey.
I would also like to add my children and polite and pleasent to be around as well, which I can not stay for the rest of my kid's friends at church.
So true 6:04 am. If we do not teach our children boundaries in our homes and train them in our homes how will they know how to act when you take them out publically? I often go over to older women's homes to visit from our church and they have all kinds of nic nacs and things all over the place. If I hadn't left things out and trained my kids not to touch them in my own home I know they would not know better in someone else's home.
I have also spanked for getting out of bed at nap and bedtime. Like 6:04 said it is all about teaching boundaries and I think obedience which so many children are lacking today because parents are afraid or don't want to physically discipline their children. I am proud of the fact that I can take my children out publically or to someone's house and they don't act like wild indians and spoiled brats.
I get really irritated when I go out for a meal and other peoples children are getting up and down, and screaming among other things. There are people from our church that I will not invite to my home and have not had back because of their unruly children, for fear they will tear my house apart or break something.
9:55 pm here -
Well I must do somehting right because my kids are very well behaved at other peoples home and I get compliments on how good they are.
And I still (*gasp*) arrange the house where its safe to them to explore and can't break something or get hurt.
I agree with 9:55 and the last few. I don't think 9:55 was saying turn your house into a kids playroom where everything is rubber. Don't take it to the extreme. Her point was don't have the home where EVERYTHING is a no! Also, you can redirect without always saying no...
Now, did I just say that saying no is bad? Not at all. It's just a balance. Also, different kids respond to different techniques so no one is wrong if it's working. If there are mom's that are doing something and it's not working...try some of the things you've heard!
Good luck to everyone. Happy parenting!
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