This is an experiment to see how honest people can be if they don't have to identify themselves. Some silly, some deep, but all require honesty.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
How would you feel if your spouse said: I love you but I am not In love with you anymore. Would you try to work it out or would you kick them to the curb?
16 comments:
Anonymous
said...
true love is about the commitment to work together until you can recreate the in love feeling
I hate it when people say that, that is the stupidest thing. First, I think I have chosen a quality guy who wouldn't say something that stupid, but IF my husband were to say that. I would of course work on my marriage. I want my kids to have parents that are happily married, if we weren't happy, I would fake it for the kids.
I would hope I would want to fight for the marriage and seek counseling. But I don't know how I'd react. I might tell him to hit the road. I'm pretty sure I'd go the counseling route.
First, I would say, "Cut the crap and tell me what you are really wanting." I think that is a line that many use as a cop out to keep from addressing the real issue. Adultery has been discussed here many times and I assure you, the couples who made it through in their relationships did not use this kind of a cheesy shallow copout line to get through those tough times.
That being said, love isn't something we are in or say, it is a conscious decision to place someone else's well being above our own. If we can fall in and out of love then there is no accountability for us to be held to. When I married my wife, I made a commitment to God and my wife to choose to love her and her only until death...stepping off my soap box now.
BTW I think if you think you could "fake it" for your kids, then you are not giving your kids enough credit -- underestimating our kids is a mistake too many times.
I would try to work it out. I would want to know why he is no longer in love with me, is it me or is it him that changed? Counciling and/or separation, I would want to try everything before a divorce was decided on.
I would try to work it out. We made a commitment. I'd want to take responsibilty for anything I'm doing or have done to make them feel that way, and then move forward, thiking about what attracted us to each other & what worked. Though time has passed since the vows, they're still real!
I have said this to my husband before but he doesn't understand. He thinks there must be someone else. No, I am just not attracted to you anymore (if I ever eas) and you are boring and I feel stuck. I love you, but I am not IN LOVE with you anymore. It makes total sense to me. But for the kids sake I am trying to make it work. I am just waiting for the day when I will be in love again.
I hope you loved this fishing pole-snap! I hope you loved your new wheels and tires-slash! ;) I would be SO ticked!!
Honestly, I would try to persuade him to stay (after the ranting) and work it out. I also believe you can live together, married and happy and not be 'in love'. It's happened before, it can happen again!
3:33 I give you a lot of credit! I have felt that way too, just never spoke the words. We worked through it and are still very happily married! Good Luck!
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16 comments:
true love is about the commitment to work together until you can recreate the in love feeling
I hate it when people say that, that is the stupidest thing. First, I think I have chosen a quality guy who wouldn't say something that stupid, but IF my husband were to say that. I would of course work on my marriage. I want my kids to have parents that are happily married, if we weren't happy, I would fake it for the kids.
I would hope I would want to fight for the marriage and seek counseling. But I don't know how I'd react. I might tell him to hit the road. I'm pretty sure I'd go the counseling route.
What is "in love"? We have out grown the teenage "in love" sillyness.
Love has many different stages and the word love has many meanings.
Do you mean he isn't attracted to you, doen't want to have sex with you.
Work it out.
First, I would say, "Cut the crap and tell me what you are really wanting." I think that is a line that many use as a cop out to keep from addressing the real issue. Adultery has been discussed here many times and I assure you, the couples who made it through in their relationships did not use this kind of a cheesy shallow copout line to get through those tough times.
That being said, love isn't something we are in or say, it is a conscious decision to place someone else's well being above our own. If we can fall in and out of love then there is no accountability for us to be held to. When I married my wife, I made a commitment to God and my wife to choose to love her and her only until death...stepping off my soap box now.
BTW I think if you think you could "fake it" for your kids, then you are not giving your kids enough credit -- underestimating our kids is a mistake too many times.
I would try to work it out. I would want to know why he is no longer in love with me, is it me or is it him that changed? Counciling and/or separation, I would want to try everything before a divorce was decided on.
7:41, Yes, you could fake it. I am not saying our kids are stupid, but you can force yourself to be happy.
You work it out. It's hard but if you're both in it for forever you work through hard times.
I would never kick my husband to the curb. If he walks out...then he walks but I'd spend everyday in a counselors office trying to make it work.
I'd say, "It's time for us to fall in love all over again."
We would work it out.
We have seasons in our marriage where we are more in tune with each other, and we have rough patches, too. But we are each other's biggest fans.
Marriage is forever - we'd try to work it out.
I would try to work it out. We made a commitment. I'd want to take responsibilty for anything I'm doing or have done to make them feel that way, and then move forward, thiking about what attracted us to each other & what worked. Though time has passed since the vows, they're still real!
I have said this to my husband before but he doesn't understand. He thinks there must be someone else. No, I am just not attracted to you anymore (if I ever eas) and you are boring and I feel stuck. I love you, but I am not IN LOVE with you anymore. It makes total sense to me. But for the kids sake I am trying to make it work. I am just waiting for the day when I will be in love again.
I would probably rant and rave!
I hope you loved this fishing pole-snap! I hope you loved your new wheels and tires-slash! ;) I would be SO ticked!!
Honestly, I would try to persuade him to stay (after the ranting) and work it out. I also believe you can live together, married and happy and not be 'in love'. It's happened before, it can happen again!
3:33 I give you a lot of credit! I have felt that way too, just never spoke the words. We worked through it and are still very happily married! Good Luck!
Love your answer 11:19
I'd also plan a nice getaway trip too, maybe I'm crazy but I think itd help
So I'm secretely hoping that my husband has read this and is planning a getaway trip for us.
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