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This is an experiment to see how honest people can be if they don't have to identify themselves. Some silly, some deep, but all require honesty.
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24 comments:
I have kids, and I teach once a year (sometimes twice.) What annoys me is that they have to BEG PEOPLE TO teach! We have thousands of people with kids and they still can't get enough people to teach. They get grandma's and college kids to help out, because there aren't enough parents who will step up and help out.
5:34am-
I'm doing my part, and I don't even have kids. I teach/help in my church's childern area every quarter. It's such a blessing, and it's great birth control. I'm kidding, about the birth control part. :) It really is a blessing to me.
I was unhappy with my church. Well, not my church as a whole. I was unhappy with the class I atteneded. I finally started attending other classes and now I love the church I attend.
I would change a few things. I wish they would stop having the same 10 people/families help with church events/decisions. Also, start hiring outside of the normal bubble!
We live in a small area and our choices are very limited. We started out at one church because they had more people our age, but after 7 months we left because no one would talk to us. We attended everything, we did our part. Finally after about the 10th potluck where we sat and ate by ourselves with no one talking to us, we decided to leave.
The church we go to now is smaller and they are much more loving. It's a good church.
I'm unhappy and so are many people. We are frustrated with our leadership.
7:36, I am not trying to be rude or hurtful or anything, but did you go talk to anyone? Did you invite anyone over? Did you hosts people at your house? Did you take the preacher and his family out to dinner? Did you volunteer to start a class to help other new people feel comfortable?? My husband works in a church and I see it first hand, lots of people griping, but not a lot of people doing.
The church I attend is great, but the secretarial staff leaves a lot to be desired!
Only kidding MRCC secretaries!
:)
i love my church but am so ready for them to take some steps foward. I feel like our leadership leads in fear. We need to update our worship style and have small groups.
However, I love our church and want to help make it better. I am ready for the elders to get their heads out of the sand!!!
Why do so many people want to change the church they are currently attending??? If your church is a growing church, like the one that I attend, something must be working. How about instead of trying to change the church you don't like...find a church that you do like. If you live in Oklahoma, there is one on every corner. Many people think that they are in the majority to want things changed because they only converse with their little group of friends or their Bible clss, when really if they step back they will see, many people disagree with them. I am so blessed to go to a church where the elders have enough wisdom to not change things in order to make a 'few' people happy. My elders are much more concerned about the church as whole than pleasing the 'squeaky wheel'.
is church just a social place for us? are we not to be Jesus to the world and to each other? if we will get busy doing the things we should be doing, alot of our complaints would disappear. Jesus is the reason we exist. i love my church!
My only complaint about the church is that we (collectively) work so hard to look perfect. Like was said yesterday, I wish church was the place to come as I am and be real.
This isn't a leadership problem, it is the congregation. And how do you start being that way without feeling completely exposed?
Hey, 9:21 if you read you can see the words, "we did our part" on 7:36's comment.
Too many churches are ignorant of new people and get so enclosed into their own circles that they exclude other people. They don't realize what kind of effect their actions have on people.
She put "We attended everything, we did our part." I think that is a problem many churches face, just because you show up to stuff, does not mean your not doing everything you could to better the church.
Who said that they were just showing up to stuff. You can't read that into the comment.
A lot of churches I know of have problems because people don't show up to anything. It's called making an effort and it's awfully sad that a lot of people don't know how to do that.
But it's nice to see someone being judgemental and harsh based on a comment.
The comments judging 736 just go to show the problems with a lot of churches. A lot of the "in crowd" (936) like to sit back and have the GUEST come to them. The responsibility is on the MEMBER to make everyone feel welcome. We as members do get too involved with our small groups. It is OUR responsibility to go out of OUR comfort zone to include the new people. And, why would they want to host something at their house if no one ever talks to them?
Whoa, I am the 9:21 poster and everyone is jumping to way too many assumptions. I was not trying to be rude and stuck up and say the members were right to ignore them, and they should of be doing everything as soon as their first visit to the congregation. IF you see a problem in an area in a church (ie, not being friendly to visitors), don't you think that is all more reason to be there? To help that problem??? And to make sure no one else feels that way?? Unless the people are flat out evil and refuse to change in any way, then of course move on. As a minister's wife, I get really hurt by comments like "They never have us over for dinner, etc." YOU should be having them over. "Why don't we have this program?" YOU should be starting that program. "I have a great idea for you to implement." YOU should be implementing that great idea. "That teacher does a lousy job." YOU should be teaching.
I attend a COC not in Oklahoma of about 250ish people.
I love it, because people are so friendly. The first day my husband and I went there like 3 families invited us out to eat. We had just come from a very large congregation and in the four years that we went there no one invited us over for lunch!!! (Granted we never invited people over too, but I was living in a college dorm.)
They also threw a wedding shower for us even though they didn't know us until a week or so AFTER we got married. (And no we did not appear to be poor or anything)
It's been a few years now since we've been a member, and it has it ups and downs.
But overall it is a church where I feel comfortable invited someone else to come to.
The downside is it is VERY HARD to find Bible class teachers, I wish we could hire a children's minister.
But its a great church!
If it makes anyone feel better about the whole teaching thing, by the way, I know of some moms with kids who have been teaching Wednesday nights *AND* Sunday Mornings STRAIGHTS FOR WELL OVER 5 YEARS. YES, they have not been to an adult class in over 5 years because they are always teaching!!!!!!!!! Amazingly, they have a great attitude about it, but can you believe it - both Wed and Sun mornings for over 5 years!?!?!?
7:36 am -- You should write the elders and tell them what happened and why you left. (Well they should have contacted you after you left....)
I'm sorry that happened to you :(
If my husband and I are gone just one Sunday we get cards in the mail.
Ok, I am 7:36.
We actively participated in classes, teaching and other activities. As much as it is possible to participate when others aren't really participating back.
Looking back I think that church wasn't really where we were meant to be. I think God had other plans for us.
We left that church about 6 or 7 months ago and we have never heard from anyone at that church. I guess no one noticed that we were members or that we even left.
I will say that has taught me a great deal. Whenever I see someone new at church I make an attempt to get to know them right away. I think you have to keep in mind that someone's church family may be the only family that they have in life.
I agree 7:36!
My hubby has went to the same CofC church since Kindergarten, I joined him while we were dating. We went there for over 8 years. We left one night and never went back. Not one of those members called or came by to see why we were not there! If we saw them in town, they would say... Oh, well I thought you all left bc of such and such! Very discouraging. While we were there, we had many visitors and they all said they did not feel comfortable and accepted, just judged and an outsider. Since we left, we have tried to talk to the elders, but there's something about an elder's wife controling an elder that I don't like! My sister in law still goes there, and she said the # has dropped in half since we left.
I don't want to go back, but I hate not standing up and making it go right! We started attending a smaller church. We all know eachother and help hold eachother up. Visitors are welcomed with open arms and a warm welcom. It's wonderful!
I have heard that the lack of including others is a really bad problem in C of C. I have seen it when I have tried to include others in stuff we do. They just won't come to join us or get to know us. They have their friends and their kids are only friends with the kids they go to church with. Pretty sad even when an outsider reaches out.
I'm not sure its fair to pick on the people who are saying things they don't like about their church. They are just answering the question that was posed by the blog. They are entitled to their opinion.
People... we ARE the church.
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